To Whom It May Concern

To the People Who Curse the Rain:

Have you noticed a little thing over the last three years? The little thing called a drought? And, have you, People Who Gripe About the Weather, forgotten we need this fundamental element called water? It's what we need to live, water our CROPS with. You know what crops are right? It's those things called VEGETABLES. You only eat meat, you say? Well, do you not realize what YOUR food eats? They eat vegetables. They need it to get fat for you to eat.

This little thing called drought keeps your food from plumping up and eating, which means you have to pay higher prices for your food. That fruit you like to eat? Yeah, it needs water too. Don't you drink water? Don't you take a shower? Yeah, that wet liquid is called water. It comes from the sky AND WE NEED THE RAIN TO PROVIDE THESE THINGS.

Those pools you like to languish beside all summer long and get skin cancer? Yeah, you need water for that too. Oh, you like lakes, instead? Have you not noticed the dismally low levels lately? That's because of that THING we were talking about called DROUGHT.

So, after a three spotty years of drought, don't you dare start whining that you hate the cloudy, rainy, depressing weather. It took three years to get here and we'll be damned if you jinx us and it goes away.