To Whom It May Concern

Dear Accounting Instructor: Your passive aggressive, non-productive and opinionated comments on my paper only prove you have no idea what you're teaching. Secondly, if you mark me down for not properly using citations, you had better double-check your work and make darn sure that they, in fact, have been cited improperly. It only makes you look like a fool when I have to point out to the class (since you call me out in class) that you have marked me down needlessly. Third, I think the only reason you pick on me is because I'm the one having to teach the class about asset debt ratios since you just confused yourself for four hours. Fourth, you may think my paper was filled with unoriginal uncited thoughts, but it just further proves my vocabulary is far superior to yours and you wouldn't know an original thought if it debited your credit anyway.

Dear Thirties: Why are you so mean?

Dear Crazy Easter Holiday Drivers: Are you drunk? It's Easter - this is no place for road rage. And if you're not going the speed limit, the signs clearly say slower traffic to the right. And that means you, Mr. Floppy Hat Saturn Driver.  Yes, those are cows. They poo and moo. Have you never seen cows? Move over!

Dear Carls Junior: Your ads gross us out. There is nothing attractive about hearing or watching people eat sloppy, yucky looking fast food.  It is not appealing. Cease immediately.

Dear Taxes: We hate you.